its working now, apparently there where some other things that affect the stream
(like dont use flash media encoder 3 for red5 bur use the 2.5 version)
i got it working with xml below
Code:
<rss version="2.0" xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" xmlns:jwplayer="http://developer.longtailvideo.com/trac/wiki/FlashFormats">
<channel>
<item>
<title>Test1</title>
<description>test1</description>
<media:credit role="author">TestStream</media:credit>
<media:content url="red5StreamDemo" duration="" />
<jwplayer:type>rtmp</jwplayer:type>
<jwplayer:streamer>rtmp://hostname/oflaDemo</jwplayer:streamer>
</item>
</channel>
</rss>
thanks alot for your help !